Kiss
Puke
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
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