yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
