if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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