After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize