Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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