If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
