I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
