he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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