Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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