also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
