living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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