omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
