He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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