At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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