Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
