I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
