The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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