Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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