i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
