So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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