i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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