My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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