Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
