just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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