im drinking this country out of the recession.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
How external is "for external use only"?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
