Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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