so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
