i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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