Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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