More tranny stories later!
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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