grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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