i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
