Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
