i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
