By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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