found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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