garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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