im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
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