birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize