I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
