So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
