I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
