I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
