Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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