I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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