I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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