You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
