It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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