Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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