I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
