3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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