i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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