the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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