he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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