WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
