Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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