mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
