Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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