I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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