i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
