I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
